From a seed sprouting into a tiny yellow taraxacum full of hopes, aspirations, imagination and best of all, a filled mind wanting to be emptied out into beauty and something great, I became a dandelion that was so easily blown away by the structure of this world and its society. To think one has all his/her lifetime to pursue their dream is a slander.  Dreams can only be achieved with money and time in this city that never sleeps, but time goes twice as fast as any other part of the world. You're constantly doing something they lure you into being a part of their big clique of working to live. No I don't mean working to achieve wealth and happiness, I meant actually working to stay alive, to work to stay alive. You get me? Who knew at 18 I'd have only 12 hours of the week to experience sights, sounds and smell? For the past year and a half, or something like that, I haven't done anything to reach out that final happiness. Might be laziness. Might be the realization of doom stopping me into conforming into society. 
-18yo me

"I stopped going to therapy
because I knew my therapist was right
and I wanted to keep being wrong.
I wanted to keep my bad habits
like charms on a bracelet.
I did not want to be brave.
I think I like my brain best
in a bar fight with my heart.
I think I like myself a little broken.
I’m ok if that makes me less loved.
I like poetry better than therapy anyway.
The poems never judge me
for healing wrong."

— -Clementine von Radics

mornings became nights

nights became nightmares
my so called world became hell
and if hell burns you
i'd rather be in it than living this life
because i can't feel a thing

anywhere but home brought me into tears
dry silent ones
because i mean
why would i want anyone's attention
but yours?

sorrow became the only thing
that made me feel alive
that made me feel something
it reminded me that we were real
even if us together
was impossible

the tears that i did bawled out
rolled down my face 
and made me realize 
i have to think before i say 
or do
because one day
i'll meet someone just like you

and i wouldnt want him to hurt me 
like you did
again
or even at all